Its all in the Zipper..............

........and of course I mean the zipper method while merging into traffic. Its something that seems all too easy, but I believe its just too hard to comprehend to most drivers. Maybe its not that most don't want to obey it, maybe its just the fact that most of the drivers in this area, and by this area I mean any large metropolitan, don't care. We live in a me first kind of time, and all though I believe we all understand the method, it doesn't matter. If It does not benefit the individual, then that individual, shall not obey.
I think we all have seen this, and if you are one of these people, and I see you, I will call you out, plaster your name over every social media site, and heckle you from your front yard til you cry. Yea, I hate it. What I see most of times, is a large sign, they have these all over the highways. Most of the time, they are very informative. This particular sign might say "lane ends 1 mile" or something along these lines. To most, this would prove a caution that soon, in the near future, that very lane they might be driving in, will in fact end. But it just doesn't matter to these people. In their head, all they can think is if I stay in the lane as long as I can, then I shall be the victor, and the rest shall be the spoil.
Well fuck you. Do you realise you are the cause of traffic?? Coming back from North Carolina I was witness to this very phenomenon. As I knew it was coming up and being in the far left lane, I got over. Moments later, that very sign "Lane ends 3/4 miles" came up. And then it began; traffic. No crash, no cops with someone pulled over to the side of the road, just ignorant ass people who were trying to get ahead of the traffic, they were causing. I just don't get this people. You are trying so hard to get to the head of the pack, only to get there, and have to wait, and then sit in traffic. I have no problem, what so ever to incorporate the zipper method when, in fact people are trying to get in. But if you wait til the last feasible second, then you suck, and everyone driving thinks less of you. And I wont fall for the people saying "oh maybe there wasn't space". Yeah, there was, but it was probably three quarters of a mile back. Putting on your blinker there, and trying to get over, and most, not all, will let you in accordingly. But when you zoom down the lane about to end, while we sit in traffic because of you, I should, by law, be allowed to throw things at you as you pass. Honestly, if you do this, zoom to the front, instead of trying to get over when you can, I seriously, in all honesty hope you step on a tack tomorrow, while barefoot, then fall down the stairs.
I just don't understand drivers. And like I know I've said before, I'm not the best driver out there, but I just try not to do ignorant, and or things that will infuriate other people. I try to point these things out so you wont do them. And I point them out as I see them. Comment if you'd like, but the only point I think anyone will say, is there wasn't space to move in. And while its true, if you were going slower, and have a signal on, someone, will let you in. And when you choose to just gun it, and try to get in at the last moment, then you become an ass. Maybe we should put out a spike stripe, like right at the end. That way no one would even dare to try and wait for the last moment. I wonder how much trouble you'd get in for doing something like that. I mean what the driver eventually does is illegal, driving in a shoulder, so why not punish those people? I'm all about punishing a-holes. I have some extra nails laying around, maybe I'll do it. I think I'd be thought of as some sort of super hero. Have to come up with a name though. So get nails, make some sort of nail strip, go out in the dead of night, put these nail strips down, come up with some bad ass name, tell no one, but send in the name to media outlets.............ok, it way too much work, just stop fucking driving like assholes.
Just seen the commercial for the "Forever Lazy". I have a better name for it, an adult onesie. Its been done. Screw the zipper though. If I wanted to be truly lazy, zippers need not apply. Wow, its came full circle, zipper method, and screw a zipper on forever lazy. See what I did there? Yea, me neither. Share, comment, tell me I'm an a-hole. Question me again and I will put you on diaper detail, and I promise I won't make it easy on you.

As promised............

Its been brought to my attention that I may have a problem keeping up with the little writing that I do. And I can appreciate that. So, I am here, to try and keep up with my rants. More so, with my observations. Again, I bring these things forth as a sort of, guide to how not to act. I do not believe that I myself, am any kind of saint, but I do feel like I have a down to earth view on the things that happen around me. I just express those feelings better though cursing, and going on and on about it. A way to get it off my chest. If you like it, great, tell others. If you don't, shove off.
It didn't take long for me to get pissed off, after realising I should get to writing again. Honestly, in the Northern Virginia area if you want to get pissed off, just stand near a busy intersection for more than 15 minutes. You will undoubtedly see something that is either so asinine, or revolting, that you will have no other option than to be pissed off. The below blog will cover a certain traffic infringement, that is still one of my most favorite. Mostly because during it, I have the ability, to slam into someone, and they would have to pay for the damage. I have yet to do so, but get me on a bad day. Like, seriously, do this on a bad day, and I'll gun it right before I hit you.
Sounds bad doesn't it? I guess the reason I get so pissed, is that inevitably, the person in the wrong, has either no clue they are in the wrong, or think they are above it. In todays case, it was the latter. I'm going to try and describe this, so follow along, really close.
So, here we go. Picture yourself, at an intersection. Two lanes going in all four directions. You are in a turn lane, facing, lets say, North, and are making a left had turn, going West. Everyone is stopped. Your turn arrow, turns green, as does the green light, for anyone going straight, or North. Now, the people who are coming at you, heading South, have to wait, obviously, or they would run a red light, and T-bone you. But here, here is the fun part. And I promise you, I watch for this every damn time I come up to an intersection like this. The people whom are heading south, but have a turn lane, to head West (heading in the same direction you are) thinks, that although they have no green light, that they have the opportunity yo make a right hand turn, essentially turning with you, because there are two lanes to turn into. I will say this once......YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE THAT TURN!!!!!!!! You have a red light! I, I am turning onto that road, not that lane, you cant force me into the far left lane! If I want to, I can go to the right hand lane, but not now! No, because you thought, "Hey, there's two lanes, I'll go too!" . To the absolutely stupid bitch who did this, this morning, and didn't even turn around, when my bumper was say, 3 inches from her damn drivers side door, and I was laying on the horn, lady, I should have gunned it. I should have continued into the right hand lane, swiping you, and putting your car into a ditch. I do believe that this woman, was one of many NOVA drivers who just feel because they got behind the wheel that day, they could do no wrong. What ever, or how ever they drove, was the right way.
I hope you all were able to follow along, as its kind of hard to describe, but I hope, and pray, that non of you are the kind of people who think you can just do anything. And it doesn't happen all the time, but it happens, and the other people are wrong. And I'm sorry, but if you are the first car in line, to make that right turn, on red, and there's a unmarked white van making the left, I wouldn't go if I were you. You have no idea how bad of a day that person is having, and your day, might get a hell of a lot worse. And you know what, it'd be your fault. You'd be hurt, and you'd have a lot of money to shell out for the "accident".
And onto the stupid and or oblivious person of the day. She comes from 7-11, and although I frequent 7-11s a lot, I wont be going back to this particular one. I got a standard lunch, bag of chips, and a small bag of peanuts, and headed to the front. I put the bags on the counter, and the lady began to scan the items. Scanned the chips, but seemed to have a problem scanning the peanuts. Wasn't really looking directly at her, but could tell it was one of those bags that the bar code wrapped around the side. Now, she fumbled with the bag for a few seconds, handling it the entire time, then just punched in the numbers. I payed, and walked out. As I was walking to my van, I looked at the bag to see how badly the bar code was positioned, only to find, that the entire back of the bag, had been taped shut. Like, with scotch tape..................my only thought was "are you fucking kidding me?" She had just handled the bag, she had, had to have seen the tape, yet still handed it to me like nothing was wrong. I turned right around, walked inside, threw the bag of peanuts on the counter, walked to the back, got another bag, and walked out. Now, this lady was either just a complete idiot, and or, just thought, "oh hey, its ok to sell a bag, of anything, to someone after its been opened, and taped closed!!" Disgusting. And to the 7-11, off Route 7 in Reston, you, you have lost my business.............. I bet they have to close down now, yea, yea that's the ticket. Fuck it, don't go there if you live around here.
So that's a day in the life. I'll try to keep these things coming if there's any response. Share with your friends, let me know how to be better. And don't tell me how to write a book, I'm just trying to get my feelings onto a screen, not become a best seller. And as always, I finish with a Family guy quote; "Aw, c'mon Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?"

New post to come Friday, October 7th

Been a Long time since I Rock and Rolled

Sorry about the time off. I think the format is better suited to simply post when deemed necessary and not on a day to day basis. Of course, if there is something, then of course I shall chat on. Might be changing the name of the blog in the coming days as well. The whole rants thing makes me feel like I'm just bitching. Which I kind of am, but there are other things on my mind without such a negative connotation which I will post from time to time. This is not one of those times.
I'll start off by saying I hope I dont come off as an outsider. Obviously the direction of the post will be obvious, but again, if there is a feedback to counter my view, please, by all means comment on this. To the point in hand. And I'll be honest, I didn't sit in front of the computer and rack my brain about this, this whole post comes from the drive home today, and seeing one guy, and his child. That split second was the catalyst of the thoughts that are upcoming. I'll first describe the spilt second, then give my opinion. Again, I will say, it might be nothing to some of you and I welcome retort. As I drove home, I seen a man, say late 30's, maybe early 40's, on roller blades (that's not the questionable act.........) and as I passed him, he picked his child up, maybe 3-4 years old, and wrap her around his neck and begin to roller blade down the street.
So, personally, since I was on the phone with my lovely wife, I said some words that might have rhymed with "duck, ducking bashole, and jackass. Ok, that last one was obvious. But seeing this enraged me. Not for the fact of the roller blades, in the right setting they I guess, can be fun, but it was for the fact you are putting a child, around your neck, the top most part of your balance, and beginning an action where balance, is paramount. Even if this was Joey McGarry (look him up) the child becomes the variable here, and you are depending on a child who probably does not fully understand consequences, to make your ride free from injury. Maybe he did go along and not have an accident, maybe he crashed horribly and he used the child as an airbag, I don't know. What I do know, that this is an instance where the probability of getting off without injury, is no better than 50/50. Does this make me a bad person, to think this guy was being careless? I will not make a judgement about his parenting over all, but I do feel that what he was doing was borderline, on a bunch of things.
And being that I am not with child, no babies in this nest, yet, I don't know if its my place to think he was showing bad parenting by putting his kid in harms way. I obviously have not played with my own baby, so is it just a situation where you will do anything to make your baby smile, and laugh? Or was this over the line? I think most have seen the yoga lady with her baby. And personally I think that's 100% child abuse. Throwing a baby up in the air is cute, throwing it around like a rag doll and calling it yoga is criminal. You know I had a whole story and trying to correlate the whole yoga thing to me driving drunk into a McDonald's, but I just couldn't finish it off. Just thought you all should know, damn, it would have been hilarious too. Another time.
So, parents out there, am I just being a nervous Nelly here? Was that just a parent being a parent, or was this really just some dumb ass, fuck stick who was a pebble in the road away from doing severe harm to his child? I believe you can get my impression of how I feel about it, through my loving tones, and beautiful use of the noun "fuck stick". But I guess this is a rant I would like feedback on. Right below the ending, is a button, it says comment, use it! Would love to hear from parents, or just anyone with a view on this. Again, sorry for the lack of Rants these past few days, hope yall stick with me! So hide your kids, hide your wife, but do tell them about this site. And follow me on Twitter at Alloystang for updates on the blog. Peter, its 7 in the morning......Thanks for the update Big Ben.

Screw you NCAA sports

So I don't think I have ever really ranted on about any sports team, as per I think it does generalize a crowd. Many who see a rant on just one team, might turn away from my babbling, and that's not what I am here to do. But the deal is, this, at this point I don't care. Not that I don't care about you, the readers, I love you all, the handful of you, I'm talking about the people who aren't reading this. Screw them. By the way, I welcome country number 10, how are ya Spain? So, away I go.
The story behind the matter is about a college coach, from a certain University I am very fond of, and have family ties too. By the way, good show, hates the fat sister of Micheal J. Fox. Wanted to punch that girl. The school in mention is Ohio State University, and the coach, is a one Jim Tressel. The problem; his knowledge of "misdoings" by his players, and waiting to reveal that he knew about it. So what we have here is two fold, one, his players were involved in a scheme that broke NCAA rules, and two, Jim Tressel knew about the incident and waited almost a year to disclose his acknowledgement. He has been fined, $250,000 and suspended 2 games. The players, were suspended for 5 games. So I am going to break this rant into 2 parts.
Part one. The players. These kids were basically taking stuff of their own, that was given to them by the University, and selling it to a guy, who then sold the stuff. Again, the things mentioned were things given to them. Not loaned, not leased to them, the University said you wore these things in games, you can have them. Those kids sold that stuff. Wow. Powerful stuff right there. Hope no kids were reading this, as per I'm sure no parents out there want their kids to grow up and do these horrible acts. My problem is simple, maybe it was against the NCAA rules to sell these items, and maybe, just maybe these kids did break the rules by receiving between $500-$1000 for these items, but in the long run, how have they made the school, and or the NCAA look bad? At what point would you hear a story, about a kid that was given something from a school, sold it, and thought, "oh my god, I hope my child never grows up like this?" I'll mention by the way that yes, I do think the scholarships these kids have, are truly their "payment" for playing a sport that could lead to a career. But they weren't selling drugs, they didn't go drinking and driving, they didn't beat someone up, and they didn't break into a house and rob someone. They made a few bucks, (no pun intended) and had a few dollars spending money as college seniors. And as a kind of way to view it, in 2007-2008, the Ohio State Football program made almost $118 million dollars just off the football program alone. These kids don't see a dime, yet we suspend them for making a couple hundred dollars off a pair of pants. Seems like a fair punishment in life, and boy, I hope they change their horrific ways.
Part Two. The Coach. Jim Tressel came forth today telling everyone that he had knowledge of these horrible acts. Because he did not come forward when it happened, he himself is being suspended for two games, and fined him $250,000. All because he was afraid to come forward, which he knew would mean trouble for his players. Now, months before he admitted it, the players already got in trouble. So honestly, he had no reason, what so ever to come forward with this information. But it was something he felt he had to tell. And maybe, again just maybe, there was some sort of evidence that was about to come forward to show his guilt, but until that comes up, he just did this because his conscience forced him to. So a coach was protecting his players, and got fined, the salaries of some coaches, and is being suspended from coaching his team, for two games. To me, this again shows how not to grow up. Do not try to protect the ones you love, and please do not come forward when guilt bottles up inside you. Did him not coming forward really do much for the Ohio State team? I would be ignorant to say it didn't. Maybe the NCAA suspends the players for the first 5 games of this past season, in which Ohio State did very well. Tressel himself probably would not have been suspended, and not be out $250K. So I do acknowledge that.
In the grand scheme of things, my biggest problem is that to say that these few football players are the only ones doing this is absolutely insane. The NCAA just turned a blind eye, while the Heisman Trophy winners father took the blame for asking schools to pay for his son to play there. And the NCAA said well the son, had no knowledge of these actions. Bullshit. Bullshit you fuck sticks. You are telling me if I was going to college, and was a great quarterback, and my dad said hey, go here, and I said why, and my dad said no reason, but the next week, he has a new house, I wouldn't understand what was going on? Again, I call bullshit. You fined and suspended players and a coach for making money off selling their own items, and let a player who was looking to get payed from a school, who would pay the highest price tag, win the NCAA footballs biggest trophy. Well done NCAA. Now that these Ohio State players are going to miss these games, I'm glad you have rid the entire aspect of college sports, some 300K+ student athletes, of these 6 trouble makers. God knows there are no more athletes taking bribes, or flunking classes but passing because they are the star, or kids not even going to class, or kids who's parents make a combined $30K a year driving new Hummers. Yes, because these 6 are taken care of, everything is right in college sports. Do us all a favor, and dive a little deeper. Shipoopi, Shipoopi, Shipoopi, But you can win her yet.

Laced with Obscenities

So I have had rants about people, and driving, and weather. So I thought why not combine them all. And it was very easy to do. While driving home, a drive which will take around 2 hours, and traverse 2 major highway systems, I was able to view, and access just how stupid people are. Truly these people could been a lot less stupid, by simply looking up at the MPH sign. See, in this stretch of highway I was driving, in the past few months the speed limit has been raised from 65, to 70. You wouldn't think this would be much of a change, but obviously its too much for some people to handle. And I will foreshadow this entry by saying one, I have not censored myself, and two, I was taught, on a highway, it is perfectly acceptable to drive 5-9 MPH over the speed limit.
The first highway that was the first half of the stretch home, was without, for most part, any incident. The only thing I will say, is that the dumb shits who don't understand that if you let a semi-truck, into the left lane on a highway, when its pretty dense with traffic, you will essentially create more traffic. Aaawww that's so nice of you, to invite a truck into our lane, virtually reducing our speed in half. Fuck you. Because guess what, half the time you do that, they will stay in that lane, doing the speed limit, until they think they have over taken all of the trucks on the road. I should have the ability to fish tail you into a tree, you stupid asshole. I could feel my blood pressure raising when the Prius in front of me (I wont say anything) thought he was doing such a great thing by letting in an 18 wheeler. I could also see the white lights beginning to pile up behind me. Get this, when you slow down highway traffic, you bottle people up, essentially, causing traffic fuck stick!
Onto the second leg. What to call the guy in the old Red Jeep Cherokee. Hmmm, how could I put this kindly. Ok, we shall say this. Had there been no traffic around me, I would have got in front of him, slammed on the breaks, watch him slam on the breaks, then I would take off as he inevitably slid off the road and hopefully, burst into flames. Trust me, I'd be doing the world a favor. As was on the first left, it was raining. For me, no big deal. For this guy, it was the end of the damn world. As traffic began to ease up, I began to realize this guy didn't want to do more than 60mph, in a 70mph. No big deal for me though, get a little close, and most people will ease over. Now there were trucks in the right lane, but he had clearance. Still didn't get over. After about 5 minutes, of him doing 60, it began to rain a tad harder, and as such, he began slowing down. We were now doing 55mph, in a 70. And now, now I was pissed. So when he wouldn't get over, and there was "some" room, I switched lanes, got next to him, and he flicked me off. Now, I don't have a camera on my rear bumper, but I'm guessing when I cut over, there might have been an inch. Not only was this fucking prick causing traffic to bottle up because he didn't feel safe, but now, now he was saying fuck me, for trying to get him into the lane, that, hello, is supposed to be the slower of the two lanes! There are signs people, slower traffic, keep right!! I know I was being a dick, by getting close to him, but look at it this way, when slower traffic is supposed to keep right, and I feel perfectly comfortable doing 80, even though its raining, this jack off has now put me in harms way because he feels he cant go any faster in the rain. Sir, I give you a big ol salute, and fuck you, get off the fucking highways if you can't at the least, do the speed limit.
Again, I know some will think of me as the king asshole here, but look, there are two lanes, one is designated as the "slower" lane. If the rhythm of traffic in the left lane is faster than want you want to do, then get the fuck over, or don't drive until there are no god damn cars on the road. Now look, it did begin to snow,and became very icy, so what did I do? I slowed the fuck down! And I..............say it with me now, got over into the right lane!!!!!!!! I just can not stand how people think they can dictate traffic by the way they feel is safe. Again, fuck the weather, it was like 45 degrees out, how in bloody hell was it snowing!?!?!?! I understand it is still only March, and have mentioned it was still going to be cold for a few months, but it wasn't that day. So how did it snow? Huh Al Gore? Hows that possible. And don't blame it on the dinosaurs, I've heard that excuse before. You know who you are.
In final, I shall just say, fuck you weather, no one can predict you, and every ones getting sick. If you don't feel safe driving in the rain, get the fuck off the road, or at the very least stay in the fucking right lane. And if you want to be that unsafe person, and you want to flick me off, don't be upset when I fish tail your ass into a tree, get out of my car, come laugh at you, then throw an unregistered gun on you, then call the cops. And I'll tell them no need for an ambulance. Harsh? Yea, I didn't think so either. How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off.

I honestly dont go looking for idiots

Sometimes these lil rants just fall into my lap. Makes my writing easier, and my day, longer. I'll set the scene. Its lunch time, 12:40pm to be exact. Now, I know that I have probably cursed myself already because its way off the noon time, which means just about everyone is, or can be on their lunch. So as I walk into my closest establishment, Boston Market to be exact I see there's a line, I guesstimate about 7 people. As I walk through the door, I question turning around, but, I'm kinda of crazing something decent for lunch for once. So I proceed.
I get in there and take my place in line. Take my terminator like scan. Directly in front of me, the woman who is way too impatient to be here. In front of her, what appears to be a group of three, in front of them a woman who might actually be lost, and some people already with their order being taken. Thinking, OK, not so bad, we can do this. And here's what they all turn into. Now to prefrence this, as I was standing there, I looked at the menu, and had exactly what I wanted, and how to say it, before I moved an inch.
Now, onto the lost lady. She actually was lost, in this world. Like she might have actually been on the wrong continent. She gets to the person to order, and looks up, and asks what they have. Now look, I understand some people might not be able to read, might have bad eyes, whatever. But as soon as you walk in, there's a menu, right there. AT least look at the freakin pictures! So, she finally finishes her order, awesome. Onto the group.Now when they started, they were 3 deep, now as they begin to order, 2 others join the festivities.......................fuuuuuucckk yooou peeooooppple!!!! Not only that, but they order weird shit, its a chicken place, order something like that, ya bastards. So the lady in front of me, makes her order, no biggy, I get up there, bam bam bam, slide to the register. Lady who was in front of me is waiting, and has been for maybe 30 seconds, and already looks pissed. So I pay, and and stand there waiting for my "to go" order.
The Great Robb Spewak once said that if you are in a drive through, and they ask you to move up, don't. His thought is once you've moved out of the way, you are no longer relevant. No truer words have ever been spoken. So the guy at the register asks if I could move to the side, so he could check out the next guy. In my state of starvation, I said OK, and moved. Big mistake. I watched and counted as 6 people got their food, and payed, while I waited. Finally I did the slow walk to the register, and asked the guy if my stuff was ready. He almost got knocked out when he ask "you don't have your food yet". Are ya kidding buddy? Really? Are you asking me that? So when I said no, I watched as he turned to the "chef" (I use that turn loosely, very loosely) and she said something in Spanish that even I could not understand, and then proceeded to make my turkey sliders, in under 20 seconds. Robb, I messed up big as soon as I walked away.
I will take fault for not having my food because I walked away, leaving me totally defenseless. But for the 7, then 9 people, that took over 25 minutes to order and pay, then the next 6 that went after me, I say, you suck. All of you. I know its not like a fast food place, but as you wait, at least gather your thoughts as to what you want, so the wait is only for the good, not the ordering. I walked in, at 12:40pm, and walked out, at 1:10pm, with a to go order. I guess getting something that's not loaded with fat, is an impossible feat. In contrast, I went to a Wendys at noon one time, and literally was in and out in less than 2 minutes. I'm not shitting you.
I feel like if more people had even just a little bit more of a care for their fellow man, we would all be a little bit more happy. Maybe things would suck a little less if people were more human beings, than humans sucking. Yea, I know, doesn't make sense, but screw it, most my endings don't. Come on. Let's go drink till we can't feel feelings any more.

no rants, just el haha

Got to be honest, not much to go off on today, and didn't want to ramble on about nothings, so I'll just share a "funny". I'm at the grocery, and at the self check out. First thing, as always, is English or Spanish. So I'm starting my transaction, scan, scan, blah blah whatever. Then I realise next to me is a man of some sort of Spanish decent. Now, I'm no Miss Cleo, but I could sense that this man might have had an adult beverage or two. First clue, he reeked of alcohol. Second clue, he tried shoving a dollar bill into the coin slot. Not kidding. It said "please insert coins and bills into the slot below". I thought it was pretty obvious which went where, but sadly, this possibly intoxicated man had no freakin clue. Tried shoving that bill in there 2 or 3 times before he stopped and just looked at it. By this time an attendant came to help out.
I guess sometimes there are days that piss you off, and some days where all you can do is leave the store, laugh hysterically in your van and then call your friend to tell him of said occurrence. Today, was the ladder. Happy hump day everyone. Lois, brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white man's dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.

It started off so darn well......

...... Then work got in the way. I have always said "Disappointment comes from expectations". Now that's one of those things that I think I've always said. I have no clue if I've heard it from somewhere or what, but I say it. So like it or don't, I don't give a damn. What I do know is that no one would be disappointed of there weren't expectations in the world. Pretty easy to understand, so no examples are necessary. I believe nothing is more truer, than associating that statement, with work. For some, every day is a joyous day with pretty rainbows, and perfect weather, and friendly people. Well gooooooooood for you, we are all so happy for ya! For the rest of us, we judge most days by how bad work was. Not to say that there aren't great days, which I'm sure is true for most, but, its the expectation of a good day to come, which is the dagger in the back for your work day.
Started off great today. I was going to be doing wood work, again, by myself, in an area which could best be described as "serene." I honestly could not wait to get the day started. Wasn't thinking about how soon til the end of the day, wasn't thinking about lunch, just wanted to get to work! Twenty-two minutes into the day and I get a call saying I was changing locations, and was going to go do good ol heavy lifting, and aiding two fine co-workers, as to make sure they were working diligently. Son, of, a, bastard!!!!! I was so close, well not really, 22 minutes into the day really wasn't close to much, but I felt like I was close to having one of those few "good days". Then, as I drove away from the "serene", it dawned on me, my motto. Disappointment comes from expectations, the full expectation of having an all around good day! Thus, setting myself up for disappointment. Not to say one cant look forward to things, I believe that's the heart of life, looking forward to the future. But I, I looked to far ahead.
My advise would surely not be to not expect good in life. But when it comes to work, and you know, you know that deep down good days are few and far between, expect little, and disappoint less. Real heavy shit there huh? Yea, I agree, not really. I just would like to think work, on a regular would be so much nicer, if I didn't from time to time, try and foresee my day. Ever happen to any of you? I mean I cant be the only one. On a less bitter note, I would like to thank the people from the multiple countries that have read this blog. I have no fuckin clue how they are getting this, but shit, thank you. And if its just some cruel sick joke from the blog host, F you man, my hopes were high!! And if its not a joke, and you are in one of those countries, comment! Let me know where you are! And Nate, don't lie, I know you are in Richmond. I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. I don't get it. Well, I could ride it to the store, I guess.

The ability to honk...........

......... And have the Cop standing next to you be totally OK with that. First I am sorry for missing last Fridays entry. I know most of you were probably devastated not having my ramblings to read. Again, I apologize. And it has been brought to my attention that this has turned into a "Rant about the traffic" kind of blog. And that is certainly true. I would have to say that driving is the number one thing that I see, on a daily basis, that intrigues me. I find it amazing how many people drive in this area, without general caution for anyone around them. But when I do see a topic, and or something relevant that makes me "ranty" I shall discuss.
Back to the Cop. So, the situation. Going down the road, and there is a 3 way intersection. Now, here's the deal, its not a three way stop, its a one way stop, the street I am on, goes straight, no stops. The turn to the left, has a stop sign to turn onto the street I am on. In front of me, is lets just say someone who maybe didn't actually go through any sort of driving class, and maybe is frightful of anything that looks like authority. On the corner is a Cop, standing there because the traffic guard was off, or sick, whatever. So as we come up onto this intersection, this very smart person, stops. Dead stop. Not like yielding or slowing down, stop, dead. Almost like she could have turned off the car it was at such a stop. Now, I know there's a Cop there, and I also know that there's no stop sign, anywhere close. So I honk. She does nothing, so I lay on the horn. I glance to the left to see the Cop gesturing her move it along. After like 5 seconds of him yelling for her to go, she finally proceeds to turn left, without signaling mind you.
I loved the fact that this Cop was on my side. My question is why? Even if I was a felon, and had a body in the trunk, while drunk, seeing a Cop, the last thing I would do would be come to a complete stop. Was she just stupid? Did she think where ever there's a Cop, you must stop?? As I have a lot of time during the day to think to myself, I like coming up with reasons such a person would be this blatantly stupid and ignorant. Mind you, this was the second time in a week that a Cop has either helped me, or agreed with me. Last week while driving through a neighborhood, and Cop waived his arm as to say "hey slow down a tad". Thought, OK, whatever. I did, and about two blocks later was a speed trap. I mean what the hell???
My thought was what is it that makes people absolutely break down when Cops, or firetrucks, or any emergency vehicle are around? Don't we all know that if this vehicles are around, without sirens or lights going, they are just as regular as you and I driving? But some people just freak out. Shouldn't those people have a sticker on the back of their cars that says something like " I mentally collapse near authority"? Sort of like when new kids are driving some parents put a sign in the window that says "New driver". Yea, that's a good idea. Those are like targets. If you are ever stopped at a light with one of those cars behind you, as soon as it turns green, put your car in reverse. Don't move, just do it so the reverse lights come on. You'll never see terror in someones eyes like that again.
Enough about driving. It was brought to my attention that after last weeks Daytona 500, the winner, a one Trevor Bayne, received a few phone calls. It was a pretty special thing, such a young guy to win the biggest race for Nascar. Kid cant even drink yet and he's winning the biggest race of his life. So, afterwards the Vice President of these United States gave him a call. Amazing. Could you imagine being 20 years old, and the Vice President wanting to talk to YOU?? I sure as hell couldn't. Then he got what must have been the call of his life. One Timothy Tebow called him right before going on the Ellen Show. Wow. Personally, I would have ignored the call. But Tim wanted to congratulate him and tell him how appreciative he was of his christian faith. So that's where its come to? The christian faith has made Tim Tebow its spokesperson? Shocking. You'd think Ol Joe Ratzinger would make that call, but I guess Tim Tebow is a close second? And isn't Tim Tebow like the second string QB in Denver? Shit, this kid just won the biggest race, and the second string QB thinks he wants to hear from him? Hey Tim, you had a great college career, and so far, you are a dime a dozen QB, who can run a lil bit. How bout just shoot an email over to a guy who's done more with his career in one day then you've done in a year. Jesus loves me... He loves me a bunch... he always puts Skippy in my lunch.

Rain rain, go away, and die.

Ahhhh mother nature. She is a cruel bitch, no? I don't know how all of you feel, but raining, isn't horrible. It can actually be very peaceful. When you are home, and you can open a window and enjoy the sounds, very nice. But this crap we have been getting lately, is crap. Its like that mist stuff, where there's no sound, but everything is wet. So there's no enjoyment, just gross, wet, non thunder, non anything crap.
Again, i work outside, and this weather has a two pronged attack on me. First off, I don't feel the "rain" with all the damn layers I'm wearing. So I'll go to get something from my pocket, and realize my jacket is soaked. Yea, that's awesome. People never think that a guy with a beanie over his eyes, and soaking wet, isn't crazy. Trust me, I've gone into a bank looking like this. You don't get stares, you get tellers reaching for their emergency buttons. I digress. The second attack is if you are under some sort of cover, you don't know its raining, and then when you walk out from underneath your covering, all your shit is soaking wet. Let me tell you, saws do not like water, one bit.
And of course, of cooooooourse since I live in the Northern Virginia area, rain coming down, in any capacity, means speed limits must decrease by 20mph. Is it that all the stupid drivers come out, or is it that everyone thinks if its raining, you will crash. I have news for anyone driving 35mph, in a 50mph zone; I'm going to kill you. Seriously, because I'll probably be doing 50-60mph, and when I come up on you, you are going to cause an accident. Well then, just slow down Matthew, you might say, well then guess what, the guy behind me will slow, and the guy behind him,and so on and so forth. Presto! Now you have a good ol Nova cluster F of traffic, because everyone has accommodated the A-hole who thinks tires don't work under such stressful situations, as a quarter inch of rain over a 24 hour period. For love of god people, of you feel it necessary, to drive that slow, that's fine, I understand, but stay out of the left lane. There are signs on some highways that state "slower traffic, keep right". Just go ahead and implant that in to your brain for everyday driving. Leave the left lane open for us drivers who believe tires ave been tested as to not completely fail under "wet" conditions.
I know this is not just a Nova thing either. It just amazes me how people don't understand that by them driving "safer" its only for their well being, and puts most of us in danger. I guess nothing will ever change that, but maybe, just maybe if someone who is a "slower" driver in the the Nova area reads this, they will remember, stick to the right, you are less dangerous there. And hey, did it ever escalate more involving lower yards? No clue? Me neither, but that just made someones day. I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal

The difference between Psychotic and goofy......

...........Is about an inch and a half. Let me explain. Its cold here, actually, its bitter cold. Please see my blog on Mother nature. Back to the subject. I work out doors, and because of that, I am pretty bundled up. I'll paint a picture; dark carpenter pants, hooded sweatshirt, yellow fleece zip up vest, and a dark blue beanie. The blue beanie being the subject of this post. See, I as I worked throughout the day, I constantly had to adjust the beanie, as it would slowly slide down my forehead, and almost block my vision. The work I do, being able to see is important. So one of these moments that the beanie was sliding down my face, I took a gander into a window to see my reflection. Interesting to say the least.
I think the first thing I realized is that I'm glad none of the kids were around. I honestly looked like I was about to rob a bank. Had that been on, the ability to see just how crazy I looked, would not have been there. But, I could now. I could see all the crazy in me. Its the look that if you were facing me dead on, half of my eyes were covered, but I could still see. It would give the appearance that I was looking up at you, but not really. I believe I heard one of my fellow workers say something to the tune of "he looks like he wants to kill us". But it was all in Spanish, so that's the translation I got. I'm pretty sure I was dead on.
So where does the goofy aspect come into play? Well, at some point, I was just trying to see and had to pull up the beanie. Worked a little, and as I passed the same window, caught my reflection, and what a difference an inch and a half makes! See now my entire forehead was exposed, and I down right looked to be someone who might have had one too many cocktails at lunch. I'll be honest. I laughed, just a tad. Now this might not have helped the whole "drunk" look, but no one was around, so its ok to look crazy then.(the the rule, no one around, and no matter what you do or look like, and you arent crazy) Here's the deal about the inch and a half. Down below eyes, and I would probably make a child cry the way I looked. But, beanie pulled up, exposing forehead, and I am basically a red nose away from hanging with Bozo. Which makes me question, when I go to stores through out the day, is the beanie exposing my psychotic, or goofy side? I would guess the first, but no child has cried in my presence so maybe I am doing ok. From now on I am going to try and maintain that inch and half.
To finish this blog I must say thank you to Redwing boots. The boot I wear, and the boot that saved my foot. Today while using a framing nail gun, the gun misfired, shooting off three nails for no reason, one of which took direct aim at my foot. The nail embedded itself into the steel that dons my toes! So I shall thank thank you Redwind, and Porter Cable, kiss my ass. And yea, all of you are saying "operator error". Well you are wrong. The gun has a function that even if you hold down the trigger, only one nail will fire. Its not a semi-automatic nail gun. So the fact that it shot three, 3 inch nails out, is a failure of the safety features. SO, yea, again, kiss my ass Porter Cable. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...my opening statement. Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

I am the Burrito van

Sometimes I think this stuff comes pretty easy. Today,. is one of them. First, in regards to yesterdays post. You will never guess where today's Depot D^%k was parked. Not only was he in the loading zone, kind of like of like yesterdays, but he was the loading zone. If you remember back to yesterdays picture, you will remember, that the D-bag in question, was parked in a lane right in front of the depot. Now today, there was a truck parked right in the loading zone, like with his front bumper almost touching the actual building. Not only is this not even a street, but its an area where they put products! Yea, like you walk up to a Home Depot, and you see tons of flowers, yea, that's where this guy was parked. I do have a picture, but at this point in my rants, I am debating putting up the pic. But I might.
Onto the question/rant for today. Its more of a question, but also a rant of sorts. It comes from the proper etiquette of driving, and using the horn. See in the great state of Virginia, it is ok to turn right, on a red light. I know this, most do as well. I say most, because I'm sure I was behind one who didn't know that today. But, I was not directly behind it. See I was one car back, third in line, number one in your hearts. While I sat, I began taking a casual glance at the traffic, coming from my direct left. Now mind you, it is a busy street, two lanes in both directions, divided by a median, but I can see who's coming. So that leads me to believe, so can the car at the front of the line. So, as I watch traffic clear, and us still with a red light, but now no traffic coming, I believe this would be an opportune time to proceed. Ok, goes about 20-30 seconds, no go. Alright, maybe looking down, texting, contemplating life, I don't care. Ok, this is the point I bring forth a question to you all. When does it become my responsibility to honk?
See I believe it is the car second in command to apply the "honk". I should not have to be responsible for such action. The further back you go, the less responsibility it is for us cars in line. But, after the first no go, a few cars go past, and now, another clearing. I see there is plenty of time, for maybe 4-5 cars to get out. So now that the first easy outlet has gone by, and we are on to the second, is it no my turn to honk? And if the car doesn't go, does it now become the car behind me, now forth in charge, his responsibility? I don't let my opportunity go by. I apply a reasonable amount of force to give the "hey guy, its time to go" honk. But now, now here's the issue. Now the guy in front of me, looks in his rear view mirror, at me! I'm like "hey guy, you had your chance, you failed!" I am simply trying to get the guy in front of the guy in front of me, to go. But I ask, is that the call of only the guy second in command, or do we all have the right to try and force the situation?
The way I see it, the guy second in line, is just as in the wrong, as the first no go guy. Because he is in fact saying its ok, not to pull onto a road, when there's a clearing! Mind you the only reason this is so big, was its 6pm, and there's at least 10 cars behind me waiting to go as well. We want to get home, get out of our way, I'm hungry. So as a question that pops up a ton, am I an ass for honking? Or should I have let it go longer, and waited to see if ol numero dos would pull the trigger, find his balls, and use that horn for what its meant to do; scare the crap out of the guy in front of you, forcing them to question everything they have been doing behind the wheel? Me, I don't miss these times, and if I'm behind you, and there's a clearing, you got about 5 seconds, before you get the burrito horn. If you know my van, the licence plate basically spells burrito. Welcome to my world of irony. By the way, when I passed the guy who didn't go until my horn aided in his decision, he was on the phone, and one front head light was out. So for me, I think I should be able to clip him, and put him into a tree, you know, for all of our safety. And when I do that, you can all thank me later. Thank God that hot chick is gone. Now I can let loose my Darth farts.

Ahhhh this guy

So I'm at my home away from home today, The Depot of Home, and I run into this guy. My question is not, why would this guy park like this, but more of, who is he. In the picture, the small yellow square to the left, clearly says "Loading zone only". Yet this D bag, is parked there. And parked for a while. I went into the Depot, and seen this guy parked there, and thought, what a jerk. Did my shopping, came out, still there. So I went to get some coffee, had a little chat with my Vietnamese gal pal, came back out, and wow, still there. So I waited.
From the time I got there, til the time I finally left, was around 40 minutes. Never seen the ass hat come out. But I know had I waited, I know what he would have had. A huge door, needing plenty of loading space? Nope. Maybe lots of carts full of little things, needing plenty of space for the carts to be, and not block other cars? Not even close. I know this guy, with out even seeing him. He's the ass that comes out with one little bag, of duct tape. Trust me. This guy needs to feel like he is the most important guy in Depot at that moment. He needs to feel like when he comes out, everyone can see him get into his truck. Guess what ass clown, you aren't important.
If you look at the photo, I'll describe where he is. See This particular Home Depot stacks up the carts in front, which is technically in the street. See it as, the carts, are in the far left lane, the tool, is in the center lane, and then there's one lane open for passing. Now, I understand that depot could avoid this by putting the carts somewhere else, but guess what, its a damn loading zone anyway, so this little bitch should never be there. Now what happens is, people who do need to load stuff, cant, because this guy, isn't there. If he was, and loading, someone could wait behind him, and when he drives off, take his place. But this egotistical, look at me everybody, no talent(just a guess) not important, do nothing, waste of space isn't there, he's just parked. So guess who leaves his cart, right in front of this D bags truck? I do. And if there's one close to me, I'll put two in front of him. And I try to get the small ones. The ones that people use to put flowers on, and stick the bed of the cart, under his car. Yup that's me. Assholish? Maybe, but I never said I was a role model.
I'll tell ya something else, I do this regularly to the guys that park there. And, one time as I was doing it, one of the Depot lot attendants seen me, and just nodded his head, like "go ahead, its cool with me". Its gets back to my whole view that some people just have no regard for anyone else. See I had to basically take my cart full of stuff, into the one lane open, to get by this guy. And I'm sure all the other contractors who park on the side (best place to park at any Depot) had to do the same thing. So maybe I am an ass for doing what I do to these guys but maybe, just maybe the next time some bastard thinks about parking in a loading zone, they'll remember the last time they did, and ended up driving about 15 feet with a damn cart stuck under their truck. To you sir, I say stay away from my depot, or next time, if I see ya again, I'll slash your god damn tires. Ok, just kidding about that................for legal reason. Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't "bribe" just another word for "love?"

A Friday Thanks, and Tip

First off let me start by saying thank you for everyone who has read what I am rambling on about on here. Doubt any one has learned anything, but I hope its at least entertaining. So again, I say thank you. And I believe someone at my bank must have read my blog from last Friday, because my experience at the bank tonight was perfect. Walked in, gave the checks to the man, he asked if I had any plans, and poof, done! I mean damn, perfect!! And yes, I do know there's no way in hell anyone that works at my bank, reads and or knows of my name.
First I want to say I hope everyone read my blog on the weather. How amazing was today in the Northern Virginia area??? Perfect huh? In the 70's, sunny, nice! Well guess what, tomorrows gonna be in the 50's, and Sunday we aren't getting out of the 40's. Ha! Hope ya didn't get your packed clothes out yet! Oh, and we might get flurries the first of the week! Ahhh, mother nature, you cruel bitch. I read where one city had a turn around of 100 degrees in a week, a freaking week. Below 0 degrees last week, and near 80 this week. I'm not sure about global warming, or what Al Gore was preaching, but I'll tell you this much, I think if they called it "Global weather fuck up" more people would have understood exactly what the deal was. Most people think Global warming, is the warming of the earth, but then we get harsh winters, so then everyone seconds guess the "warming" aspect. But damn, I'm sure as hell not gonna be the one who tries to explain it. All I'm gonna say, is I think the Earth is rejecting us.
On to driving. I drove past an accident today, and could not for the best of me figure out how this car got where it was. It basically looked like the car tried to make a left turn, and midway through just decided to stop turning, and ended up up a curb. But when I past it, there were like 5 cop cars around. So maybe the guy got cut off? Maybe a hit and run? I hate that when I cant reasonably come up with a feasible reason the cars ended up how they did. I feel like we all become little detectives when we pass a crash. Looking at skid marks as we drive by, thinking "oh, ok, so those go there, that's there, ok, so that car must have went this way, causing that car to, yea, yup, ok, that's how it happened". I wish we could hang our heads out the window and ask the cops to describe the accident in 15 seconds or less. Or just put up one of those big highway signs, that tell us exactly what happened in the crash you just passed. Oh well, again, one of those things that probably will never happen unless I become Mayor, or Governor, or class president or something.
On my way out here, I'd like to thank 7-11 for surprising me today with the "cheeseburger" I thought I was buying. Package said cheeseburger, but I think someone in the packaging plant went a little crazy with the "chili" filling. Yea, that was a great first bite. Startling to say the least. But then again, I'm relying on 7-11 to fulfil my burger needs. Look, it was a quick lunch in a pinch, get off my back, they got 99 cent liters of iced tea/lemonade. Quick tip, if you ever do have to get lunch, or food in a rush, CHECK the best of date!!! Well, that's my tip of the day for ya. And again, thanks for reading my Lil rants. Read, share, comment, follow and if you want to destroy me, go ahead, its a free world! ...and that's for wearing blue socks with purple pants! EWWWWW!!!

How to react

Sooooo I was driving today. Sorry, but a lot of these posts will start like this. Like Ive said before, I do a lot of driving. Its a lot of driving in different locations, so I'm not seeing the same streets every day. But, I question myself some times. No, not at driving, although aggressive, I feel I'm always on my toes. I do question my reactions some times to other people.
Case in point. Driving home today I could see a guy, becoming a jack ass. Like a drunk chick at a bar, in need of a drink, I could spot this from a mile away. There's a lane that ends, and I'm pretty sure, that most people in this area know, its a lane that ends. ( By the way there's a baby diapers commercial on right now, where three babies are being judged on how much they "load" their diapers, hilarious, but gross) So, back to the jack ass. He gets out from behind me, and gets into this lane that ends. Light is red, so I have time to look over. I'll only point out that if I were to get new rims on my car, I would buy 4, not 2. But that's just me.
So the light turns green, and now I know hes coming over. So what do you do in this situation? Speed up and make him come to a stop risking him just coming over anyways and maybe cause an accident. Which mind you, when in my big, white, construction van, I couldn't care less if that happens. But I'm not one to like having to fill out paper work. Other option is to just ,maintain speed and see how he reacts, which could cause an accident as well. So, I take option 3, and just let that bastard in. In my head I'm thinking "what an ass, basically just moved one spot, what could have that accomplished?"
Thinking too much into this? Probably. But how should I react to this guy? See the worst part is the bastard waved to me. Why? Why wave to a guy, that's knows you basically just moved up one spot, not benefiting you at all. See this is where I wish all cars came equipped with a dot matrix sign on the top of our cars, so we could express how we actually feel, in 15 words or less of course. I mean, I flick the guy off, doesn't really get my point across. But, follow me, if at the next light I could type in " I think you being an ass hat and I feel like you may be a waste to society". Now doesn't that have a much better ring to it then the finger???
Maybe I'm going to far, but I just think people get off too easily. I think if more cars had cow plows on the front of them, we would drive a little differently. Or, or or, maybe if the pit maneuver was a legal action for civilians to take, that would lessen A-hole drivers. Yea, I know, I watch entirely too much "Cops". I must admit, I do like myself a good 'ol tassing!! Seriously, when some one gets out of line, I'm praying they break out the taser! But, back to making people better drivers. That, will never be done. But I think we need to feel like there are more consequences. Maybe if we used social media to present these bad drivers. A page dedicated to bringing forth license plates of bad drivers, and addressing their actions. That way, say a cop pulls some one over for, I dunno, say speeding just a tad over over the limit, the Cop can bring up any complaints. So maybe he was gonna let this guy go, but now he sees that someone reported him for flicking them off for no reason at all. Now the Cop can come back to him, and say "See I was gonna let you off, but not now, now the hammer comes down." Then the Cop tases him. I'm telling you, I have a thing for criminals getting tased.
So how should we react? Just let people go? Continue to just be surrounded by bad drivers? I guess we have to. But I think its up to us to some how, come up with a way to make other people feel like there are consequences for being flat out inconsiderate. For now, I'll just use the finger. Wish it, want it, do it.

Mother nature is wearing a lot of make up today.

Look at the top of the page. What does it say? February 16th. I warn you all in the Northern Virginia area, mother nature is toying with us. Shes got a ton of make up on, and when it comes off, we are all screwed with the ugliness of winter, all over again. Do you know I actually seen a teenager in freakin shorts today? Are you kidding me? Seriously, shouldn't all those types of clothes be packed away?!?! I mean people still do that right? Pack away clothes you shouldn't be able to wear for the forth coming 5 or 6 months? Damn it people. Its February. Don't be fooled!!
I'll admit it, I got sucked in. Went to work today with just a tee shirt and sweat shirt on over it. (I work outside, get with it people) So I'm thinking "hey, today's gonna be great! Nice warm day, gonna be great!" Wrong. See the problem with this warm weather is forgetting that we are still in winter, and although it might be in the 60's out there, when a cool wind blows through, it chills you to your very core. So it would be warm and sunny, Id take off the sweat shirt, and for about 45 seconds, it would be so nice! Then baam, cold air, freezing, throw back on the sweat shirt. Did this about a dozen times before I realized, might be better to just keep on the damn sweat shirt.
Its winter. Plain and simple. For everyone saying how much they love this weather, it is just a mind F, mother nature playing a trick on our bodies. Letting our respiratory system start thinking its spring! Time to breath in the warm air! Nope. Still winter. So I'm sure that most of us are in for one more good "cold" before we actually clear this crappy weather. Our bodies just aren't built for this warm, cold, warm, cold stuff. But I must remind you all, don't get caught up. Like this very intellectual dumb ass, high school girl, whom now, now has to keep the charade going! I mean now shes the girl who wears shorts in the cold!! And I'm sure she got teased at school for it. And if she goes back to pants now, then everyone wins. She cant do that, so now shes gonna be wearing shorts in March, when we get another freaking blizzard. Or shes weak and will eventually lose the battle. I wouldn't lose, I'd wear my shorts in 3 feet of snow, just to prove, I win. Then, I'd attend to the frost bitten extremities in my own time.
But I digress. I simply write this to make sure no one has fallen for the trap mother nature has bestowed upon us. Wait for like a month or two, then if its nice, go for it, believe the hype. But not yet. Keep the shorts packed away. Wear the long sleeve shirts. And keep the sandals, well hell, just throw those things out anyway. Those things are just a freaking cluster of bacterial colonies. Oh and quick question for any one who actually reads this; do you ever see people walking around and quickly make up their life story in your head? I do. This meatloaf is rather shallow, and pedantic.

Decency, Courtesy and Sense

All words that are commonly connected to common. And no, I didn't mean to do that whole play on words there. Those words though I believe are getting a bad wrap these days. See I believe that those sayings, were "coined" in a much different time. To place the word common in front of those words kind of meant these were all things that most people possessed.
As we have "evolved" as a country, and or a people, I believe these phrases are losing their meaning and luster. See common sense is something that most people believe, most people have. Wrong. Common courtesy is something most people should posses, example, open a door for someone, say thank you and so on. Common decency is simply not being a dick. Sorry, but that's how I view it.
So why do I bring this up? Again, the description of this blog says it all. I see a lot of crap while I drive through the day. Case in point. I watched as these three "common" practices were shattered within about 10 seconds today. While driving down a pretty busy street in the area, around lunch time, I noticed a set of flashers coming up behind me. Now, mind you, I'm on a 4 lane street, divided by a median. I am in the far left lane, as are the set of flashers (which ended up being an ambulance by the way) and in the far right lane, is a turn only, witch exits this road. I begin to merge all the way over to the right, as to get out of the way of said flashers. The car behind me does the same, as does most cars behind them. So far, so good.
So the ambulance passes, and I begin my return to the far left lane, in which I previously was stationed. At this point, the Jack wagon behind me, guns it, and as I see this, I cut back to the right as not to broad side him. And to follow suit, the cars behind him follow. Now, I'm stuck in the turn lane only because the A-hole that was behind me didn't give me any time to effectively get back into the position we were all in. No no, he HAD to get wherever he was going, much faster than I. Common courtesy and decency, are out the window, gone. The common sense kind of goes along with the other two, as if he would have used common sense, he would have known that had he not let me in, I would be stuck in a lane that I obviously was not intending to be in. And used no courtesy or decency to let me back in. But does it shock me, not at all.
I honestly think that the days we live in, right now, these phrases are dead. To use the word common, is like using the word average. To calculate average, there are highs, and lows, and the middle, is average, or common in this case. The sad thing is I don't believe there are any "highs" anymore of decency, courtesy, or sense. I feel like most people, maybe just in this area, live their life in the lows, and are fine with that. For the most part, people these days are rude, and have no care for their fellow people. This saddens me. But not because of this one guy. Its because instances like what happened today, are now too common; acting like an A-hole.
Are there exceptions? Of course there are. I feel like most of my friends and people I associate with, are good people, with good intentions, and good manners. But these people are not the norm, these are people who care about others. Could this guy have let me in, not trapping me, of course. Did he think about what he was doing to me? Not in the least. Did he go home tonight, and even second guess what he did? I can guarantee you he didn't. Did I? Sure did. So, guy in the say, the 07-08 black Honda Accord,with Virginia tags, I wish you well. Because you my friend are the common driver in the NOVA area, lacking any and all common courtesy, common decency, and the fact you didn't use your turn signal, makes me believe you have no common sense. I'll be back with your hammock of cake.

My answer to Valentines day

So the day is finally upon us. The glorious celebration of the birth of Christ? The endearing holiday representing the day of Thanks, spent with family and friends? Or maybe the day of celebration of the birth of our beautiful country? Nope, nothing like that. Its the day Hallmark invented to sell crap and make people feel horrible about themselves.
Well screw that. Ever since I was little, Valentines day was a day where when you were single, it was like a hot poker being shoved into your eye. Ohhh how fun it is to watch all the people who had boyfriends or girlfriends celebrate with candy and toys and other stupid crap. And if you are a guy, who was dating someone, good lord, it was like this spot light on just how romantic you should be. Should being the opportune word there. Lord knows no matter what you did, some other schmuck was going to out do you. "Oh you got your girl chocolates and roses? Thats cute, I got my girl an island, shaped like a heart, that is powered by the strength of my love for her". Adorable. I killed that guy. No seriously, he's dead.
So, here my idea. And read to the end, I might lose you, and I understand that. I'm not saying we should just cut out Valentines all together, i'm saying bring some spontaneity to it. Make it Valentine's week. NOW WAIT!!!! I'm not saying make it a 7 day affair, no no no, not at all. We all cant be Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. What I'm saying is that between a certain period of time, lets use this year for example, February 14th, through February 21st, is Valentines week. Now, what this means is you can pick one of these days as "your Valentine". So lets just say this year, I want to do Valentines on the 17th. What does this mean? Well it means I can get a freakin table at a nice restaurant. Try and do that the 14th. Cant do it, and even if you can, there will certainly be a wait. So right there we have alleviated the issue of diner.
Now onto the whole "I don't have a Valentine" crap. Who's gonna know?? If the 14th comes around, and you work in some office, lil Miss knows it nothing, wont be rummaging around your desk seeing if you one, have anything, or two are planning anything. It takes the whole fact, that everyone knows what day it is, out of the equation. Shit, have your Valentine on 21st, who knows, and who cares.
So who's with me? Anyone? Lets make a facebook page to change it. As I believe that's how you make changes these days. And also lets understand this is a day of romance, not the guy should do everything day. I have been blessed to not be in one of those kinds of relationships. Who ever calls the day first, gets it! So next year, my Valentine is gonna be the 17th, because I called it. Bitches. And now, I'm gonna go put on my Donald Duck costume.

The professional "To be Continued"

SO first off, I'll admit this will probably sound like I'm just a bitter old man, who hates people. That's only partially right. I'll start off by saying that I am not a personable person, but I can manage a full conversation with a stranger. I have no problem chit chatting with someone when the situation deems it necessary to fill an awkward void. But, I shall say this, filling voids is something everyone should take a class on because I would say 70% of the people I run into on a daily basis, have no clue how to time their conversation.
Obviously there is a catalyst to why this is coming about. Case in point. Today while at the bank, I took my rightful place in front of the teller, and began my transaction. I am making a deposit, and getting some cash back. Something that in all should take no longer, than 45-60 seconds. I politely say "hi" and begin a polite "how ya been". Big mistake. Look,in my head I understand whats going on. To stand there and say nothing would seam psychotic. But to me, to stand there and tell this lady what I had for lunch, and what my plans were for the summer is nothing I want to get in to. Its the end of the day, its Friday, and I would have to think, no one wants to be there, at the bank near closing time.
So, back to chatty McBitch. She asks what I'm doing, I say depositing and getting some cash back. That takes about 5 seconds, so I got about 40-55 seconds left here. She begins typing in everything, la la la, asks for ID, down to about 25-40 seconds left. Hands me back my ID and then begins to ask me if I work for a construction company. Fuck. Obviously she has seen the check, which has the company logo on it, so I cant really say no, and stop the conversation cold. So now in my head, my time frame has been thrown way out of whack. So I answer the simple question, with a simple answer, "yes". Praying to the lord Jeeba above that this will halt further investigation. So at this point the whole transaction is about 95% complete and all I need is my money back.
Then it begins. An in depth explanation of how this ladies sister had some work done at her place, and the contractor something, something, something. I only say "something" because I honestly have just full on tuned her out. But at this point I realize that my transaction is complete. She has slipped my money and receipt back to me during her riveting story. So as she rambles on I contemplate how one could get out of this situation. On a TV show at this point "to be continued" would pop up on screen. The old Sienfeld joke that as you are about 2 minutes from the show ending, you know that cant finish the story,so you know the "To be continued" is gonna pop up. So why cant I use this in real life? Why cant, once I'm done, and the shows over, can't I say to this lady "Sorry ma'am, to be continued"? And just walk away? Why must I now endure 4-5 more minutes, of me standing at the window trying to fight back throwing a punch just to get out of there??? And lets understand here, theres more people waiting in line! So now it looks like I'm the jerk who's taking up every ones time.
As I said in the beginning, I understand polite conversation, but damn it, I knew at tops we had a minute of our day to fill, and this lady grabs a 10 minute sandwich of crap. So my only tip, is know your time frames people. I had a minute of how ya doin, nice weather, transaction done, in and out boom, done. If you know or think about what you are about to do, the people behind you are going to appreciate you so much more. And if you have to, just throw up the hand and say "sorry, to be continued". 3,2,1 terrible.

Dear in the head lights and why.

I'm out driving around today when a lady pulls out in front of me. No big deal right, happens all the time. Had I been looking down or something, and she continued on, I might have clipped her rear bumper. But I was looking up, and began to slow down. SO I'm slowing, down, when finally she looks left and sees me! Hurray for everyone right? Wrong, see as I'm slowing, thinking she will proceed realizing her mistake, she slams on the brakes. Now, I must slam on the brakes so not to broad side this very, very stupid lady. She then stares at me, like god himself is standing behind me. It took me waving her on, and screaming certain obscenities to finally get her going. On my many travels I have found that some people, although licenced, have absolutely no regard for driving. Mind you, had I hit her, her child was in the back seat, driver side, so the child would have been hit as well. I watched this lady look right, then pull out. As a kid it was one of the first things I ever learned, look both ways before crossing the streets. You would hope that when people have another life to worry about, they would take into consideration everything they've learned in life, to keep both them and their child safe. Sad.
Oh yea, I'm watching community, and its freaking hilarious. That is all. Roadhouse.