Laced with Obscenities

So I have had rants about people, and driving, and weather. So I thought why not combine them all. And it was very easy to do. While driving home, a drive which will take around 2 hours, and traverse 2 major highway systems, I was able to view, and access just how stupid people are. Truly these people could been a lot less stupid, by simply looking up at the MPH sign. See, in this stretch of highway I was driving, in the past few months the speed limit has been raised from 65, to 70. You wouldn't think this would be much of a change, but obviously its too much for some people to handle. And I will foreshadow this entry by saying one, I have not censored myself, and two, I was taught, on a highway, it is perfectly acceptable to drive 5-9 MPH over the speed limit.
The first highway that was the first half of the stretch home, was without, for most part, any incident. The only thing I will say, is that the dumb shits who don't understand that if you let a semi-truck, into the left lane on a highway, when its pretty dense with traffic, you will essentially create more traffic. Aaawww that's so nice of you, to invite a truck into our lane, virtually reducing our speed in half. Fuck you. Because guess what, half the time you do that, they will stay in that lane, doing the speed limit, until they think they have over taken all of the trucks on the road. I should have the ability to fish tail you into a tree, you stupid asshole. I could feel my blood pressure raising when the Prius in front of me (I wont say anything) thought he was doing such a great thing by letting in an 18 wheeler. I could also see the white lights beginning to pile up behind me. Get this, when you slow down highway traffic, you bottle people up, essentially, causing traffic fuck stick!
Onto the second leg. What to call the guy in the old Red Jeep Cherokee. Hmmm, how could I put this kindly. Ok, we shall say this. Had there been no traffic around me, I would have got in front of him, slammed on the breaks, watch him slam on the breaks, then I would take off as he inevitably slid off the road and hopefully, burst into flames. Trust me, I'd be doing the world a favor. As was on the first left, it was raining. For me, no big deal. For this guy, it was the end of the damn world. As traffic began to ease up, I began to realize this guy didn't want to do more than 60mph, in a 70mph. No big deal for me though, get a little close, and most people will ease over. Now there were trucks in the right lane, but he had clearance. Still didn't get over. After about 5 minutes, of him doing 60, it began to rain a tad harder, and as such, he began slowing down. We were now doing 55mph, in a 70. And now, now I was pissed. So when he wouldn't get over, and there was "some" room, I switched lanes, got next to him, and he flicked me off. Now, I don't have a camera on my rear bumper, but I'm guessing when I cut over, there might have been an inch. Not only was this fucking prick causing traffic to bottle up because he didn't feel safe, but now, now he was saying fuck me, for trying to get him into the lane, that, hello, is supposed to be the slower of the two lanes! There are signs people, slower traffic, keep right!! I know I was being a dick, by getting close to him, but look at it this way, when slower traffic is supposed to keep right, and I feel perfectly comfortable doing 80, even though its raining, this jack off has now put me in harms way because he feels he cant go any faster in the rain. Sir, I give you a big ol salute, and fuck you, get off the fucking highways if you can't at the least, do the speed limit.
Again, I know some will think of me as the king asshole here, but look, there are two lanes, one is designated as the "slower" lane. If the rhythm of traffic in the left lane is faster than want you want to do, then get the fuck over, or don't drive until there are no god damn cars on the road. Now look, it did begin to snow,and became very icy, so what did I do? I slowed the fuck down! And I..............say it with me now, got over into the right lane!!!!!!!! I just can not stand how people think they can dictate traffic by the way they feel is safe. Again, fuck the weather, it was like 45 degrees out, how in bloody hell was it snowing!?!?!?! I understand it is still only March, and have mentioned it was still going to be cold for a few months, but it wasn't that day. So how did it snow? Huh Al Gore? Hows that possible. And don't blame it on the dinosaurs, I've heard that excuse before. You know who you are.
In final, I shall just say, fuck you weather, no one can predict you, and every ones getting sick. If you don't feel safe driving in the rain, get the fuck off the road, or at the very least stay in the fucking right lane. And if you want to be that unsafe person, and you want to flick me off, don't be upset when I fish tail your ass into a tree, get out of my car, come laugh at you, then throw an unregistered gun on you, then call the cops. And I'll tell them no need for an ambulance. Harsh? Yea, I didn't think so either. How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off.