The ability to honk...........

......... And have the Cop standing next to you be totally OK with that. First I am sorry for missing last Fridays entry. I know most of you were probably devastated not having my ramblings to read. Again, I apologize. And it has been brought to my attention that this has turned into a "Rant about the traffic" kind of blog. And that is certainly true. I would have to say that driving is the number one thing that I see, on a daily basis, that intrigues me. I find it amazing how many people drive in this area, without general caution for anyone around them. But when I do see a topic, and or something relevant that makes me "ranty" I shall discuss.
Back to the Cop. So, the situation. Going down the road, and there is a 3 way intersection. Now, here's the deal, its not a three way stop, its a one way stop, the street I am on, goes straight, no stops. The turn to the left, has a stop sign to turn onto the street I am on. In front of me, is lets just say someone who maybe didn't actually go through any sort of driving class, and maybe is frightful of anything that looks like authority. On the corner is a Cop, standing there because the traffic guard was off, or sick, whatever. So as we come up onto this intersection, this very smart person, stops. Dead stop. Not like yielding or slowing down, stop, dead. Almost like she could have turned off the car it was at such a stop. Now, I know there's a Cop there, and I also know that there's no stop sign, anywhere close. So I honk. She does nothing, so I lay on the horn. I glance to the left to see the Cop gesturing her move it along. After like 5 seconds of him yelling for her to go, she finally proceeds to turn left, without signaling mind you.
I loved the fact that this Cop was on my side. My question is why? Even if I was a felon, and had a body in the trunk, while drunk, seeing a Cop, the last thing I would do would be come to a complete stop. Was she just stupid? Did she think where ever there's a Cop, you must stop?? As I have a lot of time during the day to think to myself, I like coming up with reasons such a person would be this blatantly stupid and ignorant. Mind you, this was the second time in a week that a Cop has either helped me, or agreed with me. Last week while driving through a neighborhood, and Cop waived his arm as to say "hey slow down a tad". Thought, OK, whatever. I did, and about two blocks later was a speed trap. I mean what the hell???
My thought was what is it that makes people absolutely break down when Cops, or firetrucks, or any emergency vehicle are around? Don't we all know that if this vehicles are around, without sirens or lights going, they are just as regular as you and I driving? But some people just freak out. Shouldn't those people have a sticker on the back of their cars that says something like " I mentally collapse near authority"? Sort of like when new kids are driving some parents put a sign in the window that says "New driver". Yea, that's a good idea. Those are like targets. If you are ever stopped at a light with one of those cars behind you, as soon as it turns green, put your car in reverse. Don't move, just do it so the reverse lights come on. You'll never see terror in someones eyes like that again.
Enough about driving. It was brought to my attention that after last weeks Daytona 500, the winner, a one Trevor Bayne, received a few phone calls. It was a pretty special thing, such a young guy to win the biggest race for Nascar. Kid cant even drink yet and he's winning the biggest race of his life. So, afterwards the Vice President of these United States gave him a call. Amazing. Could you imagine being 20 years old, and the Vice President wanting to talk to YOU?? I sure as hell couldn't. Then he got what must have been the call of his life. One Timothy Tebow called him right before going on the Ellen Show. Wow. Personally, I would have ignored the call. But Tim wanted to congratulate him and tell him how appreciative he was of his christian faith. So that's where its come to? The christian faith has made Tim Tebow its spokesperson? Shocking. You'd think Ol Joe Ratzinger would make that call, but I guess Tim Tebow is a close second? And isn't Tim Tebow like the second string QB in Denver? Shit, this kid just won the biggest race, and the second string QB thinks he wants to hear from him? Hey Tim, you had a great college career, and so far, you are a dime a dozen QB, who can run a lil bit. How bout just shoot an email over to a guy who's done more with his career in one day then you've done in a year. Jesus loves me... He loves me a bunch... he always puts Skippy in my lunch.

Rain rain, go away, and die.

Ahhhh mother nature. She is a cruel bitch, no? I don't know how all of you feel, but raining, isn't horrible. It can actually be very peaceful. When you are home, and you can open a window and enjoy the sounds, very nice. But this crap we have been getting lately, is crap. Its like that mist stuff, where there's no sound, but everything is wet. So there's no enjoyment, just gross, wet, non thunder, non anything crap.
Again, i work outside, and this weather has a two pronged attack on me. First off, I don't feel the "rain" with all the damn layers I'm wearing. So I'll go to get something from my pocket, and realize my jacket is soaked. Yea, that's awesome. People never think that a guy with a beanie over his eyes, and soaking wet, isn't crazy. Trust me, I've gone into a bank looking like this. You don't get stares, you get tellers reaching for their emergency buttons. I digress. The second attack is if you are under some sort of cover, you don't know its raining, and then when you walk out from underneath your covering, all your shit is soaking wet. Let me tell you, saws do not like water, one bit.
And of course, of cooooooourse since I live in the Northern Virginia area, rain coming down, in any capacity, means speed limits must decrease by 20mph. Is it that all the stupid drivers come out, or is it that everyone thinks if its raining, you will crash. I have news for anyone driving 35mph, in a 50mph zone; I'm going to kill you. Seriously, because I'll probably be doing 50-60mph, and when I come up on you, you are going to cause an accident. Well then, just slow down Matthew, you might say, well then guess what, the guy behind me will slow, and the guy behind him,and so on and so forth. Presto! Now you have a good ol Nova cluster F of traffic, because everyone has accommodated the A-hole who thinks tires don't work under such stressful situations, as a quarter inch of rain over a 24 hour period. For love of god people, of you feel it necessary, to drive that slow, that's fine, I understand, but stay out of the left lane. There are signs on some highways that state "slower traffic, keep right". Just go ahead and implant that in to your brain for everyday driving. Leave the left lane open for us drivers who believe tires ave been tested as to not completely fail under "wet" conditions.
I know this is not just a Nova thing either. It just amazes me how people don't understand that by them driving "safer" its only for their well being, and puts most of us in danger. I guess nothing will ever change that, but maybe, just maybe if someone who is a "slower" driver in the the Nova area reads this, they will remember, stick to the right, you are less dangerous there. And hey, did it ever escalate more involving lower yards? No clue? Me neither, but that just made someones day. I had such a crush on her. Until I met you Lois. You're my silver medal

The difference between Psychotic and goofy......

...........Is about an inch and a half. Let me explain. Its cold here, actually, its bitter cold. Please see my blog on Mother nature. Back to the subject. I work out doors, and because of that, I am pretty bundled up. I'll paint a picture; dark carpenter pants, hooded sweatshirt, yellow fleece zip up vest, and a dark blue beanie. The blue beanie being the subject of this post. See, I as I worked throughout the day, I constantly had to adjust the beanie, as it would slowly slide down my forehead, and almost block my vision. The work I do, being able to see is important. So one of these moments that the beanie was sliding down my face, I took a gander into a window to see my reflection. Interesting to say the least.
I think the first thing I realized is that I'm glad none of the kids were around. I honestly looked like I was about to rob a bank. Had that been on, the ability to see just how crazy I looked, would not have been there. But, I could now. I could see all the crazy in me. Its the look that if you were facing me dead on, half of my eyes were covered, but I could still see. It would give the appearance that I was looking up at you, but not really. I believe I heard one of my fellow workers say something to the tune of "he looks like he wants to kill us". But it was all in Spanish, so that's the translation I got. I'm pretty sure I was dead on.
So where does the goofy aspect come into play? Well, at some point, I was just trying to see and had to pull up the beanie. Worked a little, and as I passed the same window, caught my reflection, and what a difference an inch and a half makes! See now my entire forehead was exposed, and I down right looked to be someone who might have had one too many cocktails at lunch. I'll be honest. I laughed, just a tad. Now this might not have helped the whole "drunk" look, but no one was around, so its ok to look crazy then.(the the rule, no one around, and no matter what you do or look like, and you arent crazy) Here's the deal about the inch and a half. Down below eyes, and I would probably make a child cry the way I looked. But, beanie pulled up, exposing forehead, and I am basically a red nose away from hanging with Bozo. Which makes me question, when I go to stores through out the day, is the beanie exposing my psychotic, or goofy side? I would guess the first, but no child has cried in my presence so maybe I am doing ok. From now on I am going to try and maintain that inch and half.
To finish this blog I must say thank you to Redwing boots. The boot I wear, and the boot that saved my foot. Today while using a framing nail gun, the gun misfired, shooting off three nails for no reason, one of which took direct aim at my foot. The nail embedded itself into the steel that dons my toes! So I shall thank thank you Redwind, and Porter Cable, kiss my ass. And yea, all of you are saying "operator error". Well you are wrong. The gun has a function that even if you hold down the trigger, only one nail will fire. Its not a semi-automatic nail gun. So the fact that it shot three, 3 inch nails out, is a failure of the safety features. SO, yea, again, kiss my ass Porter Cable. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...my opening statement. Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

I am the Burrito van

Sometimes I think this stuff comes pretty easy. Today,. is one of them. First, in regards to yesterdays post. You will never guess where today's Depot D^%k was parked. Not only was he in the loading zone, kind of like of like yesterdays, but he was the loading zone. If you remember back to yesterdays picture, you will remember, that the D-bag in question, was parked in a lane right in front of the depot. Now today, there was a truck parked right in the loading zone, like with his front bumper almost touching the actual building. Not only is this not even a street, but its an area where they put products! Yea, like you walk up to a Home Depot, and you see tons of flowers, yea, that's where this guy was parked. I do have a picture, but at this point in my rants, I am debating putting up the pic. But I might.
Onto the question/rant for today. Its more of a question, but also a rant of sorts. It comes from the proper etiquette of driving, and using the horn. See in the great state of Virginia, it is ok to turn right, on a red light. I know this, most do as well. I say most, because I'm sure I was behind one who didn't know that today. But, I was not directly behind it. See I was one car back, third in line, number one in your hearts. While I sat, I began taking a casual glance at the traffic, coming from my direct left. Now mind you, it is a busy street, two lanes in both directions, divided by a median, but I can see who's coming. So that leads me to believe, so can the car at the front of the line. So, as I watch traffic clear, and us still with a red light, but now no traffic coming, I believe this would be an opportune time to proceed. Ok, goes about 20-30 seconds, no go. Alright, maybe looking down, texting, contemplating life, I don't care. Ok, this is the point I bring forth a question to you all. When does it become my responsibility to honk?
See I believe it is the car second in command to apply the "honk". I should not have to be responsible for such action. The further back you go, the less responsibility it is for us cars in line. But, after the first no go, a few cars go past, and now, another clearing. I see there is plenty of time, for maybe 4-5 cars to get out. So now that the first easy outlet has gone by, and we are on to the second, is it no my turn to honk? And if the car doesn't go, does it now become the car behind me, now forth in charge, his responsibility? I don't let my opportunity go by. I apply a reasonable amount of force to give the "hey guy, its time to go" honk. But now, now here's the issue. Now the guy in front of me, looks in his rear view mirror, at me! I'm like "hey guy, you had your chance, you failed!" I am simply trying to get the guy in front of the guy in front of me, to go. But I ask, is that the call of only the guy second in command, or do we all have the right to try and force the situation?
The way I see it, the guy second in line, is just as in the wrong, as the first no go guy. Because he is in fact saying its ok, not to pull onto a road, when there's a clearing! Mind you the only reason this is so big, was its 6pm, and there's at least 10 cars behind me waiting to go as well. We want to get home, get out of our way, I'm hungry. So as a question that pops up a ton, am I an ass for honking? Or should I have let it go longer, and waited to see if ol numero dos would pull the trigger, find his balls, and use that horn for what its meant to do; scare the crap out of the guy in front of you, forcing them to question everything they have been doing behind the wheel? Me, I don't miss these times, and if I'm behind you, and there's a clearing, you got about 5 seconds, before you get the burrito horn. If you know my van, the licence plate basically spells burrito. Welcome to my world of irony. By the way, when I passed the guy who didn't go until my horn aided in his decision, he was on the phone, and one front head light was out. So for me, I think I should be able to clip him, and put him into a tree, you know, for all of our safety. And when I do that, you can all thank me later. Thank God that hot chick is gone. Now I can let loose my Darth farts.

Ahhhh this guy

So I'm at my home away from home today, The Depot of Home, and I run into this guy. My question is not, why would this guy park like this, but more of, who is he. In the picture, the small yellow square to the left, clearly says "Loading zone only". Yet this D bag, is parked there. And parked for a while. I went into the Depot, and seen this guy parked there, and thought, what a jerk. Did my shopping, came out, still there. So I went to get some coffee, had a little chat with my Vietnamese gal pal, came back out, and wow, still there. So I waited.
From the time I got there, til the time I finally left, was around 40 minutes. Never seen the ass hat come out. But I know had I waited, I know what he would have had. A huge door, needing plenty of loading space? Nope. Maybe lots of carts full of little things, needing plenty of space for the carts to be, and not block other cars? Not even close. I know this guy, with out even seeing him. He's the ass that comes out with one little bag, of duct tape. Trust me. This guy needs to feel like he is the most important guy in Depot at that moment. He needs to feel like when he comes out, everyone can see him get into his truck. Guess what ass clown, you aren't important.
If you look at the photo, I'll describe where he is. See This particular Home Depot stacks up the carts in front, which is technically in the street. See it as, the carts, are in the far left lane, the tool, is in the center lane, and then there's one lane open for passing. Now, I understand that depot could avoid this by putting the carts somewhere else, but guess what, its a damn loading zone anyway, so this little bitch should never be there. Now what happens is, people who do need to load stuff, cant, because this guy, isn't there. If he was, and loading, someone could wait behind him, and when he drives off, take his place. But this egotistical, look at me everybody, no talent(just a guess) not important, do nothing, waste of space isn't there, he's just parked. So guess who leaves his cart, right in front of this D bags truck? I do. And if there's one close to me, I'll put two in front of him. And I try to get the small ones. The ones that people use to put flowers on, and stick the bed of the cart, under his car. Yup that's me. Assholish? Maybe, but I never said I was a role model.
I'll tell ya something else, I do this regularly to the guys that park there. And, one time as I was doing it, one of the Depot lot attendants seen me, and just nodded his head, like "go ahead, its cool with me". Its gets back to my whole view that some people just have no regard for anyone else. See I had to basically take my cart full of stuff, into the one lane open, to get by this guy. And I'm sure all the other contractors who park on the side (best place to park at any Depot) had to do the same thing. So maybe I am an ass for doing what I do to these guys but maybe, just maybe the next time some bastard thinks about parking in a loading zone, they'll remember the last time they did, and ended up driving about 15 feet with a damn cart stuck under their truck. To you sir, I say stay away from my depot, or next time, if I see ya again, I'll slash your god damn tires. Ok, just kidding about that................for legal reason. Ah, c'mon, Lois, isn't "bribe" just another word for "love?"

A Friday Thanks, and Tip

First off let me start by saying thank you for everyone who has read what I am rambling on about on here. Doubt any one has learned anything, but I hope its at least entertaining. So again, I say thank you. And I believe someone at my bank must have read my blog from last Friday, because my experience at the bank tonight was perfect. Walked in, gave the checks to the man, he asked if I had any plans, and poof, done! I mean damn, perfect!! And yes, I do know there's no way in hell anyone that works at my bank, reads and or knows of my name.
First I want to say I hope everyone read my blog on the weather. How amazing was today in the Northern Virginia area??? Perfect huh? In the 70's, sunny, nice! Well guess what, tomorrows gonna be in the 50's, and Sunday we aren't getting out of the 40's. Ha! Hope ya didn't get your packed clothes out yet! Oh, and we might get flurries the first of the week! Ahhh, mother nature, you cruel bitch. I read where one city had a turn around of 100 degrees in a week, a freaking week. Below 0 degrees last week, and near 80 this week. I'm not sure about global warming, or what Al Gore was preaching, but I'll tell you this much, I think if they called it "Global weather fuck up" more people would have understood exactly what the deal was. Most people think Global warming, is the warming of the earth, but then we get harsh winters, so then everyone seconds guess the "warming" aspect. But damn, I'm sure as hell not gonna be the one who tries to explain it. All I'm gonna say, is I think the Earth is rejecting us.
On to driving. I drove past an accident today, and could not for the best of me figure out how this car got where it was. It basically looked like the car tried to make a left turn, and midway through just decided to stop turning, and ended up up a curb. But when I past it, there were like 5 cop cars around. So maybe the guy got cut off? Maybe a hit and run? I hate that when I cant reasonably come up with a feasible reason the cars ended up how they did. I feel like we all become little detectives when we pass a crash. Looking at skid marks as we drive by, thinking "oh, ok, so those go there, that's there, ok, so that car must have went this way, causing that car to, yea, yup, ok, that's how it happened". I wish we could hang our heads out the window and ask the cops to describe the accident in 15 seconds or less. Or just put up one of those big highway signs, that tell us exactly what happened in the crash you just passed. Oh well, again, one of those things that probably will never happen unless I become Mayor, or Governor, or class president or something.
On my way out here, I'd like to thank 7-11 for surprising me today with the "cheeseburger" I thought I was buying. Package said cheeseburger, but I think someone in the packaging plant went a little crazy with the "chili" filling. Yea, that was a great first bite. Startling to say the least. But then again, I'm relying on 7-11 to fulfil my burger needs. Look, it was a quick lunch in a pinch, get off my back, they got 99 cent liters of iced tea/lemonade. Quick tip, if you ever do have to get lunch, or food in a rush, CHECK the best of date!!! Well, that's my tip of the day for ya. And again, thanks for reading my Lil rants. Read, share, comment, follow and if you want to destroy me, go ahead, its a free world! ...and that's for wearing blue socks with purple pants! EWWWWW!!!

How to react

Sooooo I was driving today. Sorry, but a lot of these posts will start like this. Like Ive said before, I do a lot of driving. Its a lot of driving in different locations, so I'm not seeing the same streets every day. But, I question myself some times. No, not at driving, although aggressive, I feel I'm always on my toes. I do question my reactions some times to other people.
Case in point. Driving home today I could see a guy, becoming a jack ass. Like a drunk chick at a bar, in need of a drink, I could spot this from a mile away. There's a lane that ends, and I'm pretty sure, that most people in this area know, its a lane that ends. ( By the way there's a baby diapers commercial on right now, where three babies are being judged on how much they "load" their diapers, hilarious, but gross) So, back to the jack ass. He gets out from behind me, and gets into this lane that ends. Light is red, so I have time to look over. I'll only point out that if I were to get new rims on my car, I would buy 4, not 2. But that's just me.
So the light turns green, and now I know hes coming over. So what do you do in this situation? Speed up and make him come to a stop risking him just coming over anyways and maybe cause an accident. Which mind you, when in my big, white, construction van, I couldn't care less if that happens. But I'm not one to like having to fill out paper work. Other option is to just ,maintain speed and see how he reacts, which could cause an accident as well. So, I take option 3, and just let that bastard in. In my head I'm thinking "what an ass, basically just moved one spot, what could have that accomplished?"
Thinking too much into this? Probably. But how should I react to this guy? See the worst part is the bastard waved to me. Why? Why wave to a guy, that's knows you basically just moved up one spot, not benefiting you at all. See this is where I wish all cars came equipped with a dot matrix sign on the top of our cars, so we could express how we actually feel, in 15 words or less of course. I mean, I flick the guy off, doesn't really get my point across. But, follow me, if at the next light I could type in " I think you being an ass hat and I feel like you may be a waste to society". Now doesn't that have a much better ring to it then the finger???
Maybe I'm going to far, but I just think people get off too easily. I think if more cars had cow plows on the front of them, we would drive a little differently. Or, or or, maybe if the pit maneuver was a legal action for civilians to take, that would lessen A-hole drivers. Yea, I know, I watch entirely too much "Cops". I must admit, I do like myself a good 'ol tassing!! Seriously, when some one gets out of line, I'm praying they break out the taser! But, back to making people better drivers. That, will never be done. But I think we need to feel like there are more consequences. Maybe if we used social media to present these bad drivers. A page dedicated to bringing forth license plates of bad drivers, and addressing their actions. That way, say a cop pulls some one over for, I dunno, say speeding just a tad over over the limit, the Cop can bring up any complaints. So maybe he was gonna let this guy go, but now he sees that someone reported him for flicking them off for no reason at all. Now the Cop can come back to him, and say "See I was gonna let you off, but not now, now the hammer comes down." Then the Cop tases him. I'm telling you, I have a thing for criminals getting tased.
So how should we react? Just let people go? Continue to just be surrounded by bad drivers? I guess we have to. But I think its up to us to some how, come up with a way to make other people feel like there are consequences for being flat out inconsiderate. For now, I'll just use the finger. Wish it, want it, do it.

Mother nature is wearing a lot of make up today.

Look at the top of the page. What does it say? February 16th. I warn you all in the Northern Virginia area, mother nature is toying with us. Shes got a ton of make up on, and when it comes off, we are all screwed with the ugliness of winter, all over again. Do you know I actually seen a teenager in freakin shorts today? Are you kidding me? Seriously, shouldn't all those types of clothes be packed away?!?! I mean people still do that right? Pack away clothes you shouldn't be able to wear for the forth coming 5 or 6 months? Damn it people. Its February. Don't be fooled!!
I'll admit it, I got sucked in. Went to work today with just a tee shirt and sweat shirt on over it. (I work outside, get with it people) So I'm thinking "hey, today's gonna be great! Nice warm day, gonna be great!" Wrong. See the problem with this warm weather is forgetting that we are still in winter, and although it might be in the 60's out there, when a cool wind blows through, it chills you to your very core. So it would be warm and sunny, Id take off the sweat shirt, and for about 45 seconds, it would be so nice! Then baam, cold air, freezing, throw back on the sweat shirt. Did this about a dozen times before I realized, might be better to just keep on the damn sweat shirt.
Its winter. Plain and simple. For everyone saying how much they love this weather, it is just a mind F, mother nature playing a trick on our bodies. Letting our respiratory system start thinking its spring! Time to breath in the warm air! Nope. Still winter. So I'm sure that most of us are in for one more good "cold" before we actually clear this crappy weather. Our bodies just aren't built for this warm, cold, warm, cold stuff. But I must remind you all, don't get caught up. Like this very intellectual dumb ass, high school girl, whom now, now has to keep the charade going! I mean now shes the girl who wears shorts in the cold!! And I'm sure she got teased at school for it. And if she goes back to pants now, then everyone wins. She cant do that, so now shes gonna be wearing shorts in March, when we get another freaking blizzard. Or shes weak and will eventually lose the battle. I wouldn't lose, I'd wear my shorts in 3 feet of snow, just to prove, I win. Then, I'd attend to the frost bitten extremities in my own time.
But I digress. I simply write this to make sure no one has fallen for the trap mother nature has bestowed upon us. Wait for like a month or two, then if its nice, go for it, believe the hype. But not yet. Keep the shorts packed away. Wear the long sleeve shirts. And keep the sandals, well hell, just throw those things out anyway. Those things are just a freaking cluster of bacterial colonies. Oh and quick question for any one who actually reads this; do you ever see people walking around and quickly make up their life story in your head? I do. This meatloaf is rather shallow, and pedantic.

Decency, Courtesy and Sense

All words that are commonly connected to common. And no, I didn't mean to do that whole play on words there. Those words though I believe are getting a bad wrap these days. See I believe that those sayings, were "coined" in a much different time. To place the word common in front of those words kind of meant these were all things that most people possessed.
As we have "evolved" as a country, and or a people, I believe these phrases are losing their meaning and luster. See common sense is something that most people believe, most people have. Wrong. Common courtesy is something most people should posses, example, open a door for someone, say thank you and so on. Common decency is simply not being a dick. Sorry, but that's how I view it.
So why do I bring this up? Again, the description of this blog says it all. I see a lot of crap while I drive through the day. Case in point. I watched as these three "common" practices were shattered within about 10 seconds today. While driving down a pretty busy street in the area, around lunch time, I noticed a set of flashers coming up behind me. Now, mind you, I'm on a 4 lane street, divided by a median. I am in the far left lane, as are the set of flashers (which ended up being an ambulance by the way) and in the far right lane, is a turn only, witch exits this road. I begin to merge all the way over to the right, as to get out of the way of said flashers. The car behind me does the same, as does most cars behind them. So far, so good.
So the ambulance passes, and I begin my return to the far left lane, in which I previously was stationed. At this point, the Jack wagon behind me, guns it, and as I see this, I cut back to the right as not to broad side him. And to follow suit, the cars behind him follow. Now, I'm stuck in the turn lane only because the A-hole that was behind me didn't give me any time to effectively get back into the position we were all in. No no, he HAD to get wherever he was going, much faster than I. Common courtesy and decency, are out the window, gone. The common sense kind of goes along with the other two, as if he would have used common sense, he would have known that had he not let me in, I would be stuck in a lane that I obviously was not intending to be in. And used no courtesy or decency to let me back in. But does it shock me, not at all.
I honestly think that the days we live in, right now, these phrases are dead. To use the word common, is like using the word average. To calculate average, there are highs, and lows, and the middle, is average, or common in this case. The sad thing is I don't believe there are any "highs" anymore of decency, courtesy, or sense. I feel like most people, maybe just in this area, live their life in the lows, and are fine with that. For the most part, people these days are rude, and have no care for their fellow people. This saddens me. But not because of this one guy. Its because instances like what happened today, are now too common; acting like an A-hole.
Are there exceptions? Of course there are. I feel like most of my friends and people I associate with, are good people, with good intentions, and good manners. But these people are not the norm, these are people who care about others. Could this guy have let me in, not trapping me, of course. Did he think about what he was doing to me? Not in the least. Did he go home tonight, and even second guess what he did? I can guarantee you he didn't. Did I? Sure did. So, guy in the say, the 07-08 black Honda Accord,with Virginia tags, I wish you well. Because you my friend are the common driver in the NOVA area, lacking any and all common courtesy, common decency, and the fact you didn't use your turn signal, makes me believe you have no common sense. I'll be back with your hammock of cake.

My answer to Valentines day

So the day is finally upon us. The glorious celebration of the birth of Christ? The endearing holiday representing the day of Thanks, spent with family and friends? Or maybe the day of celebration of the birth of our beautiful country? Nope, nothing like that. Its the day Hallmark invented to sell crap and make people feel horrible about themselves.
Well screw that. Ever since I was little, Valentines day was a day where when you were single, it was like a hot poker being shoved into your eye. Ohhh how fun it is to watch all the people who had boyfriends or girlfriends celebrate with candy and toys and other stupid crap. And if you are a guy, who was dating someone, good lord, it was like this spot light on just how romantic you should be. Should being the opportune word there. Lord knows no matter what you did, some other schmuck was going to out do you. "Oh you got your girl chocolates and roses? Thats cute, I got my girl an island, shaped like a heart, that is powered by the strength of my love for her". Adorable. I killed that guy. No seriously, he's dead.
So, here my idea. And read to the end, I might lose you, and I understand that. I'm not saying we should just cut out Valentines all together, i'm saying bring some spontaneity to it. Make it Valentine's week. NOW WAIT!!!! I'm not saying make it a 7 day affair, no no no, not at all. We all cant be Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. What I'm saying is that between a certain period of time, lets use this year for example, February 14th, through February 21st, is Valentines week. Now, what this means is you can pick one of these days as "your Valentine". So lets just say this year, I want to do Valentines on the 17th. What does this mean? Well it means I can get a freakin table at a nice restaurant. Try and do that the 14th. Cant do it, and even if you can, there will certainly be a wait. So right there we have alleviated the issue of diner.
Now onto the whole "I don't have a Valentine" crap. Who's gonna know?? If the 14th comes around, and you work in some office, lil Miss knows it nothing, wont be rummaging around your desk seeing if you one, have anything, or two are planning anything. It takes the whole fact, that everyone knows what day it is, out of the equation. Shit, have your Valentine on 21st, who knows, and who cares.
So who's with me? Anyone? Lets make a facebook page to change it. As I believe that's how you make changes these days. And also lets understand this is a day of romance, not the guy should do everything day. I have been blessed to not be in one of those kinds of relationships. Who ever calls the day first, gets it! So next year, my Valentine is gonna be the 17th, because I called it. Bitches. And now, I'm gonna go put on my Donald Duck costume.

The professional "To be Continued"

SO first off, I'll admit this will probably sound like I'm just a bitter old man, who hates people. That's only partially right. I'll start off by saying that I am not a personable person, but I can manage a full conversation with a stranger. I have no problem chit chatting with someone when the situation deems it necessary to fill an awkward void. But, I shall say this, filling voids is something everyone should take a class on because I would say 70% of the people I run into on a daily basis, have no clue how to time their conversation.
Obviously there is a catalyst to why this is coming about. Case in point. Today while at the bank, I took my rightful place in front of the teller, and began my transaction. I am making a deposit, and getting some cash back. Something that in all should take no longer, than 45-60 seconds. I politely say "hi" and begin a polite "how ya been". Big mistake. Look,in my head I understand whats going on. To stand there and say nothing would seam psychotic. But to me, to stand there and tell this lady what I had for lunch, and what my plans were for the summer is nothing I want to get in to. Its the end of the day, its Friday, and I would have to think, no one wants to be there, at the bank near closing time.
So, back to chatty McBitch. She asks what I'm doing, I say depositing and getting some cash back. That takes about 5 seconds, so I got about 40-55 seconds left here. She begins typing in everything, la la la, asks for ID, down to about 25-40 seconds left. Hands me back my ID and then begins to ask me if I work for a construction company. Fuck. Obviously she has seen the check, which has the company logo on it, so I cant really say no, and stop the conversation cold. So now in my head, my time frame has been thrown way out of whack. So I answer the simple question, with a simple answer, "yes". Praying to the lord Jeeba above that this will halt further investigation. So at this point the whole transaction is about 95% complete and all I need is my money back.
Then it begins. An in depth explanation of how this ladies sister had some work done at her place, and the contractor something, something, something. I only say "something" because I honestly have just full on tuned her out. But at this point I realize that my transaction is complete. She has slipped my money and receipt back to me during her riveting story. So as she rambles on I contemplate how one could get out of this situation. On a TV show at this point "to be continued" would pop up on screen. The old Sienfeld joke that as you are about 2 minutes from the show ending, you know that cant finish the story,so you know the "To be continued" is gonna pop up. So why cant I use this in real life? Why cant, once I'm done, and the shows over, can't I say to this lady "Sorry ma'am, to be continued"? And just walk away? Why must I now endure 4-5 more minutes, of me standing at the window trying to fight back throwing a punch just to get out of there??? And lets understand here, theres more people waiting in line! So now it looks like I'm the jerk who's taking up every ones time.
As I said in the beginning, I understand polite conversation, but damn it, I knew at tops we had a minute of our day to fill, and this lady grabs a 10 minute sandwich of crap. So my only tip, is know your time frames people. I had a minute of how ya doin, nice weather, transaction done, in and out boom, done. If you know or think about what you are about to do, the people behind you are going to appreciate you so much more. And if you have to, just throw up the hand and say "sorry, to be continued". 3,2,1 terrible.

Dear in the head lights and why.

I'm out driving around today when a lady pulls out in front of me. No big deal right, happens all the time. Had I been looking down or something, and she continued on, I might have clipped her rear bumper. But I was looking up, and began to slow down. SO I'm slowing, down, when finally she looks left and sees me! Hurray for everyone right? Wrong, see as I'm slowing, thinking she will proceed realizing her mistake, she slams on the brakes. Now, I must slam on the brakes so not to broad side this very, very stupid lady. She then stares at me, like god himself is standing behind me. It took me waving her on, and screaming certain obscenities to finally get her going. On my many travels I have found that some people, although licenced, have absolutely no regard for driving. Mind you, had I hit her, her child was in the back seat, driver side, so the child would have been hit as well. I watched this lady look right, then pull out. As a kid it was one of the first things I ever learned, look both ways before crossing the streets. You would hope that when people have another life to worry about, they would take into consideration everything they've learned in life, to keep both them and their child safe. Sad.
Oh yea, I'm watching community, and its freaking hilarious. That is all. Roadhouse.